I often have moments of clarity and then the realization that it is a case of " the bleeding obvious".
I was thinking about the issue of passing and it occurred to me why it is a wrong headed concept.
Passing means to hand the value of your being on to other people. If they think that you are authentic as a woman then you are valued and if you are 6'6 and 110 kilos and hairy then you are less valued, you do not pass the test.
Even the word PASS hints of a value system. You are in or you are out.
Instead we should be supporting diversity and choice rather than conformity to some sort of binary and a line set by others.
We, as independent adults, should decide who we are and how we want to present ourselves.
Like many girls on TGR, I knew I was different even as a child. I would surreptitiously dress in my sister's clothes, terrified of being caught out. Later as an adult, I would buy clothes "for my partner" and then wear them surreptitiously at home, terrified of being caught out. Finally, I ventured out in public, in Sydney far away from home, thrilled and pleased but still terrified of being seen as transgender, i.e. as not passing for a woman. Then, well into my sixties I couldn't lead the double life any longer and said "Oh golly gosh (or an equivalent vulgar phrase) I'm just going to be me, my feminine self".
I watch the mixed reception that others either receive in society or more often fear they will receive.
Whilst I don't present in a gender ambiguous way at work (or I try not to) - I do live most of the rest of my life projecting my femininity - through clothes, physical features, and lifestyle choices. For several years now I've been very comfortable being 'me' in public, and, like you, I haven't received the much feared backlash from partner, family, friends, or society at large.