written by Adrian

Telling your partner

Having worked through my family and friends over a lot of years gradually sharing the news about the true "me" I can agree that the starting point has to be your SO if you are in any meaningful relationship.

Liz wrote:
I hope I'm not preaching, however the longer the delay in telling the SO or even others increases the horror. Unless you're a person who is a master of deception for life, I reckon the SO will eventually find out.

But on that point I disagree. A few years back there was someone pretty charismatic and persuasive in the NSW community who urged people to do what had to be done and "come out". The damage that resulted from such blunt, unmeasured advice was in my view totally avoidable.

The reality is that across the gender diverse spectrum we have varying needs to express ourselves, which in turn have to balanced against the varying needs of our relationships.

Granted, if you feel inside you are going to spend the rest of your life as a female then you need to get started on warning anyone close to you of the tsunami that is about to hit them.

But that is only the tip of the iceberg of gender diversity. The vast majority of us live in a continuum where deciding if there is a need to "come out" to our SO is not a clear cut decision.

I firmly believe that only the individual can make the call on this, and also that the decision must be re-evaluated regularly as you go down your journey of personal discovery.

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